Many of us were raised by survivors of the Great Depression. My grandma once told me, “We were hungry, but your grandfather’s family was starving.”
Which explains why the man would eat anything put before him. Clearly, he did not belong to the group who’d have much to say about how to decrease one’s eating after age 50.
So it’s no shocker that our parents merely passed on to us what they’d heard at their dinner table as kids:
- You’ll ruin your appetite if you eat too close to dinner.
- Don’t waste food!
- Clean your plate.
- You’ll sit at this table until your meal is finished.
- Come and get it while it’s hot! You don’t want your food to get cold!! – my dad’s favorite.
Our parents meant well, but they sure weren’t prepping us for the food-porn world in which we’d soon find ourselves.
Today, after decades of living in our culture, we’re older, wiser and nobody need explain to us that losing weight and maintaining after age 50 is no picnic.
It’s insanely hard, and we know it, thanks.
But here’s the amazing news: you and I are living in an era where learning to lose and maintain after 50 is actually a thing.
Maybe our grandmas didn’t have the info, but our generation is dialed in.
After a lifetime of being heavy, I lost weight in my 40s and have maintained the loss for 16 years now. I’m 57 today.
I did it.
You can do it.
And then it’s on us to tell the next generation. (So keep good notes.)
Let’s begin by modernizing those vintage food admonitions.
Take “you’ll ruin your appetite if you eat too close to dinner.” One of the (gazillion) ways that I learned to engage with food when I was losing (and today maintaining) was to eat a tiny meal before eating.
Thereby “ruining” my meal which was/is exactly my intent.
I rarely sit down to a large meal of any kind before I have a tiny-meal in advance like an apple with a teaspoon of peanut butter, a small banana, or a hardboiled egg.
If I’m really strapped for time, I spoon peanut butter straight from the fridge knowing that it’ll hold me for an hour. (Sorry Mom.)
Losing weight today is – thankfully – different from when we were young. For starters, you and I aren’t trying to look like Cher or become ultra-thin to fit in with the clique at school.
We’re older. We’re wiser. Twiggy’s days are in our culture’s past and have no bearing on this new era where health reigns supreme.
Today we want to have as much control over our health as possible. For example, I know three people who were told by their surgeons to lose weight or their surgery couldn’t be scheduled.
I know others whose weight led to heart problems, diabetes, gallbladder disease and so forth.
And I know a woman who had never, ever been thin and merely wanted the fun of wearing cute clothes. Okay, this is me. My little (literally) sister had the coolest wardrobe growing up while I wore whatever fit; which wasn’t much.
In today’s food-world it’s like we face the perfect storm. We live in a calories-on-steroids culture, were born to people whose own parents were severely traumatized by the Depression, and grew up in the era when teeny-tiny wraith women were celebrated.
Not to mention that we’re over age 50 which is when losing weight and maintaining is the most difficult for any age group.
So of course we struggle with food.
But, all that said, learning to navigate the storm is absolutely possible. So back to updating the admonitions from the olden days (use the following liberally and on a daily basis):
- My tummy is not a trash can!
- I never eat on large dinner plates anymore, so my portion sizes are always smaller.
- I “ruin” my meals all the time by eating a tiny-meal first.
After a lifetime of weight, I’ve lost and maintained into my late 50s. “Ruining my appetite” is one of my best tricks going.
Join me in wrecking your meals today.
What did your parents tell you about the evening meal? Did your folks change with the times, or did they stay rooted firmly in admonitions of the past? What was their message in general about food? How do you “talk” to yourself today about food and finishing everything in your plate?